Why I Choose to Use the Word Mentor Instead of Life Coach.

I want to help people be happy, healthy and free from the pressure society places upon them. This is why I have spent years perfecting my psychic readings to be more guidance from beyond than fortune telling gimmicks. It is why I have, and continue to study ways to be a successful life coach, healer and support to the clients who come to me.

I am just not comfortable using the term life coach to describe my services, I don't feel like I am a coach, I'm not running plays for you or clapping from the sideline. I am right there on the field, not catching the ball, that is after all still your job, but I am supporting you, we are on the same team. I show you catching the hardest ball is possible, and then I watch as you start to believe you really can catch it.

You will have to forgive me the clunky sports analogy, it is an area in life where I have never been (and probably never will be), motivated to be an expert. The word coach makes me think of sports, ignoring pain and tough love. Many life coaches tell you tough love is needed, so I guess for them coach is the right word. It just isn't the word for me, for what I offer my clients.

I use mentor because it comes from a place of love and connection. Don't get me wrong, I know there must be boundaries between myself and my clients, but I am deeply invested in helping everyone who comes to me. As your spiritual mentor I hold space with you, let you express your self and then together we find the path forward.

My sessions are based on the practices of life coaching, however they go deeper on a spiritual level and your guides and sometimes past loved ones are there with us. I use my natural compassion, psychic mediumship, and intuition as I truly listen to what not only your physical self, but your soul is saying.

We use the first sessions to delve deeply into your subconscious and find what holds you back and how we can change your limiting beliefs. We set goals and break them down into manageable steps. We talk confidentially about your life, and mine, and how to overcome comfortable habits which no longer serve us.

As your mentor, it is my place to nurture you, encourage you, praise you, and celebrate you. I will never judge you, rush you, mislead you or give up on you. From me you will get the truth, but, it will never be cold or hard. I believe by nurturing you and giving you space to forgive and nurture yourself anything is possible.

Now I know you are going to ask how I know anything is possible, and that is a good question. I grew up as a victim, never having a voice of my own, believing I was as worthless as those meant to nurture me said I was. I took this victimhood into adult life, I was not an active participant, I allowed things to happen to me (both good and bad) instead of taking control of my future.

I am a survivour of childhood abuse, death defying situations, sexual assult, self harming behaviours, suicide attempts and self loathing. I have not only survived though, I have thrived. All these things made me stronger, gave me the life experience to be able to share and help others. I have shed the victim skin, and now shine as my own hero, and a pioneer for those ready to step forward and find their own sparkle.

It took over 40 years to reach this place where I am able to see my strength and the gifts I have to offer the world. I now stand tall, shruging off the harsh judgements of society. I know my worth and I know my goals. I see beauty and love from the Divine everywhere, and yet still know the value of our shadow selves. I am profoundly spiritual, deeply grounded, always authentic and 100% motivated to help my clients see how unique and wonderfully sacred their soul is.

If you would like to know more about the experiences which have shaped me, check out my other blogposts. If you would like to know more about my mentoring packages, send me an email or find me on Facebook, twitter, Instagram or YouTube.

Why Making an at Home Roster Is the Best Thing I Ever Did for My Mental Health?

Wow, it has been over two months since I last posted anything here, I'm so sorry for the huge delay. I've been busy doing so much, I always seem to run out of energy before getting around to blogging. That's the problem with mental health, as we feel better we keep on trying to do more and more, eventually something has to give. If you are interested in where my time has gone, you can find out here, here, or here

Anyone following my story would already know, its been a hard struggle for me to get back on my feet after a massive, life-as-I-knew-it, destroying episode back in April and May 2017. Part of the struggle was coming to terms with those things triggering my anxiety and causing depressive episodes. A traditional work life is one of the major causes of my panic attacks and heightened anxiety. The thought of putting on a uniform is enough to cause me real discomfort, trying to put one on actually makes me begin hyperventilating.

So I needed to let go of the well paying job I had with a company who cared more about money and metrics than people. I've also moved away from trying to find a job which would see me leaving the house multiple times a week, I am just not able to do it. Instead I found ways to make money while at home, and with the assistance of my amazing mother in law and gorgeous, ever supportive husband I am slowly starting to see an income with what I am doing.

It's hard work though, working from home is not all fun and games and no where near as easy as getting up and going out to work. In a traditional job, you take off your uniform and sit down to relax at the end of a hard day. Working from home however, is almost never ending, its exciting to be building something, but every day seems to involve working towards a sustainable income.

My tendency is to go and go until I can't and then sleep and sleep because (like so many of us with chronic or mental illnesses) I forgot to count my spoons. It is never my work that suffers though, rather I stop writing my blog, don't watch TV with my husband, take the dog on shorter walks or no longer bake for pleasure. I make my occupation (whether self or company employed) all consuming and I only come up for air when I am drowning.

Something had to give, my husband, and our dog was suffering, I was suffering, though as a Taurean I was far to stubborn to see it until it was too late. As my husband pointed out, working myself into the ground is how I ended up missing all of the warning signs of an impeding, catastrophic, breakdown. I needed to do something to slow my pathological overworking persona down. The conclusion we came to was so simple, I have no idea why it wasn't obvious before. I needed a Roster.

Years of working hard, has left my brain (and yours too I bet) wired to follow a schedule. Without a roster, my brain is in free fall, asking itself "are we working or are we playing?" My anxiety is in over drive, "there are deadlines to be met and things to do and we have to do all the things now, now, NOW!" Then along would come depression, "I'm tired, this is too much to think about lets take a three hour nap". The home roster is the perfect way to calm my inner worry and avoid giving in to the nap.

It isn't as tight as a work roster would be, I do allow myself some flexibility, If there really is a deadline, I will work longer, I take the time off another day however, to make sure I am not overdoing the spoon consumption. So what does my roster look like?

7am get up take morning tablets, wash dishes, walk the dog

8am prepare and eat breakfast, do daily hygiene regimine

9am-12pm work (I choose between my photography, spiritual work, or writing)

12pm-1pm prepare and eat lunch, cuddle the pets

1pm-4pm work (possibly choosing to do something different)

4pm-5pm me time

5pm-7:30pm prepare dinner

7:30-10pm eat dinner and have Husband time

10pm-11pm wind down reading

11pm lights out

On the days I don't work, which is every second weekend, every second Tuesday and every Friday, I let myself sleep in and watch Netflix. It's not a perfect fix, I still break the rules, but I'm learning to work with a home schedule and it seems to be helping. After all, I've found the time and energy to write my personal blog. What do you think of a home roster, is it something which could help you?