I have long considered myself a feminist, I grew up fighting chauvinism
at home, at school, at work. In 1995 I was 19 and working as a waitress in an
AFL club, a job which truly opened my eyes to male privilege and the societal
blind spot toward the mistreatment of women.
I was 20 when I entered my first serious relationship, to a man (boy?) who
wanted to tell me who I could see and where I could go. All he wanted was an
obedient piece of arm candy, my brain was not needed. He was emotionally and
physically abusive, when I finally ended the relationship more than one person
expressed their displeasure as he was, “so good looking”.
At 26 I was sexually assaulted in a public toilet while out clubbing with
friends. The first police officer on the scene questioned my choice of outfit,
the second my sobriety. I knew then, just as I do now, neither of those things
had any impact on the crime committed by the man who followed me and broke the
lock on the cubicle.
During my 41 years I have personally experienced too many true moments of
misogyny to count. Males who feel it’s their right to tell me I am too fat, too
weird, too opinionated. Men have demanded I sleep with them, grabbed my ass,
grabbed my breasts, forced my hand onto their groin all the while laughing at
my discomfort.
Every single one of my female friends can tell you similar frightening stories.
These are the reasons feminism is needed. These are the reasons women are
demanding to be heard. Therefore, as a gender we should be standing together to
say no more!
We aren’t standing together though, some women are tearing other women
down, calling each other names, and treating each other badly. They hide behind
the banner of feminism claiming females who disagree with them are part of the
problem. Rest assured it’s very easy to disagree with them, all you need do is
like men. I’m not talking about being hetro or bisexual, they find it perfectly
ok to date men as long as you hate them.
According to these women who call themselves radical feminists (or
radfems) all men are depraved, pathetic and without a single redeeming quality.
They maintain Transwomen are still men and even greater deviants worthy of more
scorn then cis men. Females who profess to be happily married or in a great
relationship are liars or deluded.
Personally, I am unwilling to tar all men with the same brush, seriously,
it’s no different to hating all Muslims, believing all refugees are looking for
a free ride or saying all priests are paedophiles.
Generalisations are never
something we should become comfortable with. It is this opinion which has seen
me labelled as “part of the problem”, “a lib fem”, or my personal favourite “a
handmaiden”.
How dare I respect and allow someone to choose to identify with their
true gender, how dare I not label them perverted and mentally ill.
How could I possibly be happy in my marriage and defend my husband,
calling him a wonderful and caring man.
I am apparently an awful example of feminism, a terrible curse to all
women, because I judge men individually on their actions and not as a whole
group based on the actions of many.
I know my opinion is not a popular one with radical feminists, but it is
still my opinion and I am entitled to it. Funnily enough, it is not me
personally attacking these women, rather it is usually them calling me names
and labelling me unenlightened and uneducated.
I have fought for an end to sexism and equality of the sexes for most of
my life, equality is the key word here however. As a feminist I know there is a
culture of misogyny we need to address. I do not believe the current wave of
misandry invading the world of feminism is the answer.
Why can't I be a feminist if I have male friends?
Why would anyone want to meet hate with hate?
How is replacing misogyny with misandry a solution?
Are we really, honestly confusing feminism with misandry?
No comments:
Post a Comment