Saturday, 10 June 2017

Just some poems about anxiety and depression


Hollowed out and beaten down
Still you hold your tarnished crown
Eyes are burning, muscles sore
Head is aching, you can’t take anymore
You once were queen upon your throne
Now you wander lost and alone
Your mind is trapped within your past
You fake happiness which cannot last
You need release you need to cry

You need answers you need to know why?

If not why then how? you ask
How do you fight? What an impossible task

When the danger dwells inside yourself
When the problem is your mental health
How do you fix it? Why should you care?
Why does it matter if you don’t wash your hair?
You hold your crown but deep down you know
Your castle and throne were all for show
Your mistress of nothing, you rule over none
You can’t even make sure your housework is done
There must be a way to get yourself back
To get this life of yours back on track
Perhaps the first step is to polish the crown
Wash your hair, find your shoes, and buy a new gown
Or maybe you let go of a past tarnished and frightful
And look to a future which just may be delightful.
                                     09~05~2017


Endless noise and endless fights
Forever thinking means less sleep at nights
Hard to stop the incessant noise
Hard to control my perfect poise
All this inside my mind each day
No wonder sanity feels like it’s slipping away
Two personalities with their own thoughts
My mind becoming their private tennis courts
The left side lobs a thought across to the right
The right lobs one back with all his might
I’m stuck in the middle trying to survive
Constantly wondering if I’ll get out alive
This constant noise can get so loud
Its hard to concentrate out in a crowd
I need time to myself, I need time to rest
Distractions from thoughts, but sleep works the best
No noise when I’m sleeping, except for the dreams
But that noise is different, we’re untinted it seems
Why does my mind seem split in two?
And to stop all this noise what do I do?
If I can’t get along with the thoughts in my head
If they constantly bicker about what someone has said
How can I know what is fake, what is true?
Why do friends stand by me with all I put them through.
23~04~2017

Hiding behind a perfect mask
A girl so shattered yet no one will ask
What is wrong? Why are you so sad?
Why do little things make you so mad?
They can’t see the sorrow, despair, or the pain
Only the cheerful mask, the smiles she can feign
She is scared to show the world her pain and true face
She instead moves along with kindness and grace
Helping another with whatever she can do
Her generous nature the one thing that is true
You’ll look at her passing you out on the street
You’ll look right through her never missing a beat
No one will guess she thinks she’d be better off dead
You’d never guess at the commotion inside of her head
Strangers often stop and tell her their sorrow
She listens and shows them a shoulder to borrow
Other people mean more to her than she does to herself
She will give all she can no thought for her own health
She always says yes, she hates to say no
Works so hard to make sure the truth doesn’t show
She could be your mother, your sister, your wife
Or any random female you know in your life
So take the time, stop and truly talk a while
Pay attention and you may notice what’s behind her bright smile.
 20~04~2017

Falling Further down the rabbit hole
Nothing to stop you nothing to hold
The darkness grows dense around your soul
No heat to thaw the heart numbing cold

Fall far enough the pain just may cease
But of course, this is just another lie
There is only chaos no room for peace
So, you yell and scream and ask the gods why

Why am I like this? Why am I here?
Why am I damaged beyond all repair?
You can fight, beg, or hide from your fear
But the ground hits hard, best beware

How far you fall or how deep you go
Changes each time you fall into the hole
Till you stop falling you never can know
If you’ll make it out unscathed and whole

When you hit rock bottom yes it will sting
No free rides are to be had in this wonderland
You must pick yourself up and get back in the ring
Fight back at your monsters, win your right to feel grand

20~04~2017

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