There is something about acting like an
adult and making hard but needed decisions that makes my inner child
chuck a tantrum so big and loud it can be seen on the outside. Most
of the time I can keep my inner tyke contained or at the very least
bribed to stay quiet, recent decisions however have tested and broken
my steely resolve to be a dignified adult.
Due to (partially) unexpected
circumstances and a huge lack of financial planning on our part we
had to make a call will we cut back on our magical day of matrimony
and go ahead with a bargain basement wedding, or will we wait another
12 months and ensure we are able to have exactly what we wanted?
As adults we have of course decided to
wait another 12 months and do things the right way without all the
stress, financial and otherwise. This is smart, this is wise, this is
what any responsible adult would do! Still my inner two year old (who
I call Princess) doesn't understand the concept of waiting. “I want
to be Mrs Saunders and I want pretty clothes and pretty hair and I
want people to look at me...I want to be Mrs Saunders NOW! (Or at the
very latest August 13 this year...) why can't I be Mrs Saunders
now...now now now NOW!!”
My inner teenager is not 'digging' the
decision either, she has been planning her wedding for as long as we
can remember. So after the fist beating throw yourself on the floor
tantrums of Princess I get to work through an eye rolling, angst
ridden lecture...”How hard could it be? just use the money. It
seriously can't be that hard to find a florist on short notice, who
cares (insert metaphorical eye roll) that the one you thought would
do it pulled out? Just ring a florist they will know what you want
god it isn't hard, bet I could do it...oh and I know you are saving
for a wedding but get me those shoes I want...NOW!”
Unfortunately adult Sarah has not been
as vocal as either of these younger inner egos lately, so poor Mr
Saunders has had to put up with a lot of sulking and petulance. I
knew I had hit the low point when I started conceiving a plan to go
to the Mount Isa council office and quietly get married. Never in my
life did I see my wedding to my soulmate that way, and I am pretty
sure Mummybear and Mum would both be heartbroken without being there
for our special day.
I have now started to get my head
around the concept that there will be another 14 months until saying
I do and legally becoming Mrs Sarah Saunders. I had one very tear
filled morning at the day job when I had to cancel my annual leave
and explain why, but I swear that is all behind me now, I have put on
the big girl pants and no matter how much I want it to be as planned
the wedding is officially postponed. It will be better for it, less
stress, more money, better planned.
I need to stay focused though, it may
be all to easy to sit back and do nothing until it is too late again!
That procrastination trait rears its ugly head all too easily
sometimes and some things just can not be achieved adequately with
stress and deadlines looming large.
I am interested to know what decisions
other people have found hard to make, do you ever regret making the
adult decision? Has waiting for something so important made it better
when it finally happens? Is your inner child easy to keep quiet?
Share your story in the comments...
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