I'm not Scared...I'm terrified

I've always wanted to write. As a child I made up stories to entertain cousins and siblings, a particularly memorable one was about a boy called Elvis, a boy who could captivate a room with his singing but was unfortunately so ugly his mother couldn't even hug him, that was of course until he fell on his face and became a handsome rock and roll sensation. We all got in trouble that night, lights were out we should have been sleeping not laughing and making up "rubbish". I entertained the people I loved with outrageous stories for years, it was easy and everyone loved my nonsensical ramblings.

As I grew up however I realised not everyone wanted to hear about the worlds inside my head, in fact some people criticised my stories, found holes in the plots and told me in no uncertain terms that I should not be making up "rubbish" and telling stories, I should be thinking of my future and what I wanted to be. A boy just can not go from ugly to gorgeous and become the king of rock because he fell on his face...well yes, that was kind of the point now wasn't it? 

I've lost count of how many times have I told someone I wanted to be a writer to have them tell me (many times without ever reading a single thing I have written) I'll never make it, I'm not good enough, the industry is too cut throat. Somewhere along the way I started to believe it must be true, I put the pens and paper away and went and found a "real" job, then another, then another, none of them brought a feeling of fulfillment. 

Then I thought, what if I just wrote for fun, in secret, not to be a real writer but just because it gave my imaginary friends a chance to become real?

So that's what I have been doing, until I moved to Mount Isa and met the lovely Ann B Harrison, who is not just a beautiful person but also a successful writer. Much enthusing about my writing ensued, and to my surprise Ann was interested, not politely nodding while thinking about her get away, not smiling blandly while internally wording her discouragement, she actually asked questions and listened to the answers.  Then she shared something that brought all the childhood enthusiasm about writing rushing back, if you have a good story and you work hard on the technicalities getting published is possible.

It's possible! It is a lot of hard work and I need to be dedicated to my writing, I need to market myself and learn to share my secret worlds with people again, but it is possible!

I'm not scared, I can leave behind all those years of self doubt and secretly scribbling about people and places no one else would ever see, I'm excited...I'm psyched...I'm ready...I'm terrified!