JAMES
DOUGLAS MALCOLM
20-3-1952
– 14-10-2014
dad at our cousin Sandy's wedding
Dad
was a great man, with a huge personality and an even bigger heart.
He never hid his emotions and wore his heart on his sleeve. He loved
unconditionally and unashamedly claimed pink as his favourite colour,
wearing anything he could in pink and often stealing my sister's pink
accessories. His obsession with the colour is the reason many
people honoured him by wearing pink to his funeral.
There
was nothing dad loved more then a good yarn, he was never without a
story to tell and his stories were never short winded. What better
way is there to honour dad's memory then with a few of his favourite yarns.
James Douglas Malcolm was born on the 20th March 1952 to Nancy and Doug Malcolm. He had
four sisters, Maureen, Kathy, Julie and Janelle, who sadly was a
still born baby. As well as one brother Peter.
A baby picture of dad
Dad
married Jeannette, the love of his life on the 23 June 1973 and to
hear dad or mum tell the story he quite literally swept her off her
feet and stole her heart. Mum was dating his good mate Dougie Gray
and one night after they had gone to the movies a car sped up as they
were Crossing the street and two guys jumped out and threw the couple
into the back seat. Dad turned round held out his hand and said "Hi
I'm Jim." That was the last date mum had with Dougie.
Dad
and mum went on to marry and have three awesome children, myself,
Annie and Dougie. Although their marriage ended in later years they
remained close and everyone knew mum held a very special place in his
heart right up until the end.
mum and dad's wedding photo
Dad
always said “blood is thicker than water”. For many people this
may just be a nice saying, for dad it was a way of life. He lived and
breathed for his family and there was nothing he wouldn't do for any
of them, especially his children, the three of us were his world.
Mr Saunders, myself, my sister, her partner and my brother with dad
Growing up every year without fail dad would ensure we went to the
Cairns Show not just once but on all three nights. It was a sacred
event for dad and he demanded that his nieces and nephews go all
three nights as well. He didn't care if he was broke after those
three days, they were a time for spoiling the kids. When we went to
the show dad made sure we wanted for nothing. In later years when he
couldn't make the show it became the custom for anyone to bring him
home a dagwood dog and a waffle.
When
we all became too old for the show and discovered night clubs we knew
if dad wasn't sitting in the parking space between Tropos and the
Sports Bar all we had to do was ring him and he would come and get
us. Dad always had to feel useful and this was his way of taking care
of his loved ones. It was our cousin Adam who dubbed this Jim's Taxi
service.
Dad
worried about us when we were out in the world. He would always say I
trust you I just don't trust the rest of the people out there. He
especially worried about Annie finishing so late at the casino and he
would always be down there at 3 am waiting for her to finish work.
Often asleep in the car with all the windows down and Annie's huge
dog Tzar there to protect him. If Tzar didn't know who you were you
needed dad's permission to touch the car. A fact a poor police
officer learnt when he almost lost his hand as he prodded Dad awake
one morning.
Annie and dad at her graduation
Watching
his kids grow up and leave the nest was bitter sweet for dad. He saw
us less but was happy to see us creating our own lives and extending
his family. All he ever wanted for us was that we were happy. He was
a protective father though and I had to promise to only hold hands
with Jason until we were married and sleep with a pillow down the
middle of the bed. Annie was smarter than me she just agreed that
John and herself slept in separate rooms. Dad only met Carrie briefly
but he was overjoyed that Dougie had found someone to make him happy.
He
was over the moon when Annie blessed him with his grandson Jaxon, ask
anyone in this room, he was his happiest knowing he was at last Dar.
Poor Annie though, he told her she had been downgraded to second
favourite, Jax was now his number one.
a couple of photos of Jax and his Dar
We
had our ups and downs with dad, we didn't ways see eye to eye but
this was because dad raised us to be independent and think for
ourselves, he realised this meant we wouldn't always agree with him
but he knew he had also taught us about unconditional love and we
could disagree and still love each other dearly.
He
told me writing was a difficult profession to break into it would
take a lot of hard work, he never told me I couldn't do it though and
over the years he patiently listened to many of my poems, some...well most of which were truly dreadful. He was most proud of the book I
am writing though and it is sad that he won't be here to see it
published.
Raising
us to be able to take care of ourselves is something dad was really
passionate about and apart from giving him Jaxon this is what he was
most proud of Annie for. Out of the three of us he knew Annie was the
one who could stand up for herself. His favourite story about Annie
proves this point. Annie was really young maybe about 6 or so we
ordered Chinese for dinner and they messed up the order this wasn't
good enough for Annie so she rang the shop and gave them a piece of
her mind scoring herself a free bag of prawn crackers. Dad always
said this was the moment he knew he had raised her right.
Dougie
was dad's only son and this makes him pretty special. Dad was proud
when Dougie started playing as a hooker for brothers in the under
11s, after all you played for Brothers or you didn't play at all. He
was ecstatic when Dougie excelled at the sport.
Seeing
Dougie become a qualified chef was an awesome moment for a man who
loved good food, he would use every excuse he could to get his son to
cook for him. Dad loved curries and chilli and it could never be hot
enough, a challenge Dougie took up. He made dad this curry and he was
sure it was so hot dad couldn't possibly eat it. He dished it up to
dad outside under the awning and then sneaked around the back to
secretly watch dad suffer, only dad didn't suffer he finished the
meal and told Dougie it was spot on!
Dad's
humour was a little off kilter at times, almost always completely
inappropriate and politically incorrect. Nanny always tells me he
shared a morbid sense of humour with his father and brother. His
humour also got him into trouble at times, at our cousin Sandy's wedding the
priest came down to bless dad as he sat in his wheel chair he touched
dad's forehead and dad couldn't stop himself from saying "it
burns, it burns!" we tried unsuccessfully not to laugh but I
don't think the priest was impressed.
In
2004 dad's ranking as first born and only son was blown out of the
water when nanny received a surprise letter from Peter announcing to
the family that he was in fact nanny and granddad's first born son.
Dad had never been happier, he had always wanted a brother to banter
with instead of 3 sisters to torment.
He
welcomed peter with open arms and the same unconditional love he
showed all his family and friends. Though they had only just met dad
was chuffed by the similarities between himself and peter. Peter is a
taxi driver and just like dad loves to tell a good yarn.
dad's brother and his partner with dad
Dad
was, let's just say a tad accident prone. From his early preschool
years he gave his parents lots of reasons to worry.
He
put his hand through a glass door at kindy. He always maintained he was pushed.
He
rode his push bike into the back of of a stationary big yellow
garbage truck. Running home to tell nanny he ran into a post at
school. Too bad he was caught out when a neighbour who had seen it
later told his mum what happened.
His
first and most serious accident was as a passenger in a chandlers
work vehicle where he nearly lost his life. It was this accident at
only 16 when dad was given the last rites and from growing up
listening to dad's many yarns I can tell you he counted every day
after this one as a blessing.
Dad
went on to have 2 motorbike accidents and another car accident while
driving for black and white taxis.
Dad
loved his time as a cabbie and made many good friends. Victor and
Mick the Irishman continued to come by to visit dad long after he
stopped driving taxis. Annie remembers poker games held at our childhood home after the night drivers finished work. Rusty and
little Jim would be there. Dad was of course known as Big Jim!
dad in his cabbie days
Dad
would be the first to tell you be was a larrikin and some of the
stories his good mates could tell would make your toes curl. He was
the master of truancy. A talent he started honing as early as year
one of edge hill state school when he would hide under the bush in
the front yard or down at the corner store. If I remember correctly
from Nanny this caper ended when the front bush developed a little
cough.
By
the time dad hit Cairns State High School he was given a nickname by
his teacher Mr Jim Leahy... He was... The scarlet pimpernel! A name
dad embraced. He would often quote "they seek me here, they seek
me there, they seek me everywhere".
In
his later years dad's passion became the Brothers Junior Football
League. Every Friday night he would sell raffle tickets at Brothers
Leagues Club to raise money for them. Where he was by the way quite a
hit with the ladies. On Saturdays you would find him sitting on the
gates taking admissions. Though his phone and pocket radio were
always close by as Saturdays were race day.
Not
long ago dad was given a motorised scooter by rotary to give him more
mobility... He named her Lulu... and boy he loved zipping around on
her with his akubra on. But in keeping with his history of things
with wheels, he and Lulu suffered a few scrapes.
Dad had three things he loved in life, his family, his friends and Boofy, his beautiful white cat, sorry "white Siberian tiger" whom he trained to shake hands and come to him when he whistled. He was loved and adored by so many and truly the world is a darker place for having lost the light he shone upon it. The one thing I can hold on to these days is knowing the last thing I ever got to say to him was "daddy, I love you", there are not too many people lucky enough to be able to do that.
a baby photo of dad and myself
dad and myself at my 21st
